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haven't been posting anything lately so I think I'm going to pour my heart out a little bit on here before going to sleep...

since I've been busy with schoolwork and stuff so my mind is all about school, school, school, exams, exams, exams... and I think I'm going to faint in any minute. then one day a thought came to my mind, "what is the point of going to school when you only study just to pass the exams?"

I'm not saying what is the point of learning/studying. what I meant is school has turned into a place where students spend more than 10 years in and they do the same thing every single day like wake up early in the morning to go to school to learn about literature, algebra, chemistry, physics and stuff and waiting for the day when they get to get out of this place with a certificate to get a high paid job.

so yes, I've been idling time by think about this instead of preparing myself for the exams. and I really see no point in going to school. it's supposed to be a place where kids go to and have fun learning about new stuff but now look at it, school is a place where nobody wants to go to. but adults always say going to school is more fun than go to work. they say that it's because they don't like their job, I guess...

The Book Of Your Life

you are a book. a book has characters, conflicts and ending. you are to be the main character of your own book. you can write your own conflicts and ending for your own story. you can be as creative as you can be. you can play around with it however you like. but, you are not able to choose or create the characters. because the characters in your life are already been chosen by fate. 

let's put it this way, you can't choose your father or mother, the family you were born in, the people you meet, and of course, the one you fall for. if you are surrounded by people you don't like or people who don't like you, I believe that the best way to solve this problem is to cope with it. don't run away from the problems because if you are destined to face or encounter the problems that you are having,     God wants you to learn the lesson. problems will end, if it hasn't ended then it is not the end of the book. so it's up to you if you want to end your book quickly by letting the problems overwhelm you or fight for a good ending. 

the problems may be hard to solve at the moment but don't forget those who are around you, if they are destined to meet you, they are destined to help you through the obstacles in life. remember that you don't have to face everything alone.


Acceptance Of Who We Are

so, finally I've found some time to post an entry, yay!

we, human beings are unique like fingerprints. we may like the same thing, agree on the same thing, think about the same thing but individual's personality will never be the same, that's how unique we are. thus, nobody can understand us completely, nobody knows us as well as ourselves. no matter how much you speak your mind or how many times you explain what kind of person you are to another person, they will never know the real you because they are not you. 

I used to be the kid that tries to fit in and wants people to think that she is the same as them. but not anymore, well, still a little bit actually, but not so desperately. but until now, I have always been misunderstood for being cold, quiet and the not-give-a-fuck type of people when deep down inside, I'm a warm, caring and understanding person. just because I spend time more in my inner world makes almost everyone misunderstand me. that's what it's so sad about my life. my friends, who are always by my side, we are like-minded, but if I revealed everything about myself to them, they would definitely look at me differently. but no, I'm not faking a personality, I just don't show most of myself to anyone.

in this world of 7 billions people, a few are your soul mates but only one of them is going to spend the rest of his or her life with you. I'm not going to say that this person will understand you like you understand yourself or anything like that. this person will be the one that will accept you completely for who you actually are even if they don't know you as well you you do. but they will still accept you and love you, for the unique 'you', for the 'you' that no individual in this world can be. 

Devious Journal Entry

by ~JooDeesArt on deviantART

aken  at Changi Airport, Singapore.

Matching Tattoos

different people have different opinions. so there are 2 groups of people: first, people who recommend it. second, people who don't. and I belong the the first group.

people say that what if you break up, your significant other will leave but that tattoo is going to stay forever. or they say, get a tattoo that is meaningful to you or something about yourself.

personally, I don't have any tattoos and I'm also not a crazy fan of it. but if someone that I really love says that they want a matching tattoo with me, I'd agree. even if we'd break up, they are gone and the tattoo is still on my body, I don't mind. if my next significant other asks about the tattoo, I'd tell them that this person was once the most important person in my life. the tattoo would constantly remind me of them and they would always be on my mind, tell myself that they came into my life for a reason and thanks for making me stronger.

Do Not Compare

if I didn't skip my PE lesson, I wouldn't be able to learn this lesson.

my friend, M, she doesn't receive any love from her family. she gets scolded by her mother whenever she comes back from work. she scolds M for no reason most of the time. exam is coming soon and M really can't take it anymore. I looked at her, seeing the pain in her eyes. She was going to cry but managed to hold back the tears. 

look on the other side, she has loyal friends, like me, and others. she doesn't trust anyone enough to share about her trouble. I often say that she can share whatever she wants whenever she feels comfortable enough to. but she usually does is smile. and I actually feel hurt when my friend doesn't trust me.

I have a decent house, respectable and educated parents. they also love me. they aren't at home frequently because of their business and always buy me presents on their way back home. I'm totally okay with that. as an introvert, I love being alone. when people look into my life, they feel pity for me because I have to stay alone by myself for weeks. 

M often compares her life with mine. she told the counselor, "sometimes I feel that her life is better than mine. then sometimes I feel that mine is better than hers. even though my parents are home but I'm like invisible to them."

"M, when you take a look at life, you'll find that it's not always fair. J (me) might have something that you don't have but you might have something that she doesn't have too. so stop comparing, be grateful for what you have instead because comparison often leads to complaints and you will just make yourself unhappy." said the counselor.


When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

"Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime."

There Are Different Reasons Behind a Laugh

talk about laughter

sometimes, a person laughs because they just hear a hilarious joke. sometimes, a person laughs because they are in an awkward situation. sometimes, a person laughs because they are simply happy. there are a lot different forms of laughter. 

if you are able to make someone crack up, I envy you. I envy your ability to make people rolling on the floor laughing just by telling a joke. I envy your confidence for making people laugh by doing silly/ridiculous things in front of them.

I've been told that I'm too serious looking at times and hardly able to make people laugh. plus, my jokes are lame... I'm lucky to have a cute face and my appearance can simply put a smile on the people who fall for cute things. other than my cute face, I'm a complete boring person.

so, I love to see people smile. especially if I'm the reason behind that smile. people who have a crush on me can smile so big if I give them a little bit of attention. the person that I secretly like at the moment, often giggles whenever I say something. I don't know if that is an awkward giggle that they don't know what to say next or they actually think that what I say is funny. but just simply see the person that you like smiles or giggles can put a smile on my face for the whole day.